It's a good thing there are no limits on how many fresh starts we get in this life. If there were, I am sure I'd have long since used my allotment. I am getting yet another fresh start on this blog.
There is nothing like a new school year to remind me that I should be permanetley documenting these milestones. Then....I'm reminded that it is not just the milestones that count but all the days, weeks and months in between. That is where life really happens.
My girls are in 5th and 8th this year and my little man is still pre-preschool. Thankfully he has another year or I'd be a bawling basket case. I must prepare myself for next year when we will be sending our oldest off to high school (that's even hard to type) our middle daughter off to middle school and my baby boy off to preschool. I can get choked up just thinking about it and it's a year away.
This time of year I constantly hear "how fast time flies." To the point that it has become irritating to me because everybody is saying it. I had the same issue with the b word a few years ago...you know...busy. When "busy" became the awnser to the small talk question.....how are you? I vowed to never use the word again. There seemed to be a subtle contest (especially among working moms) as to who was the busiest. Getting back to "time flying".... I am on a quest to not use that phrase in any way shape or form for one entire school year. I mean I can totally relate to the concept. I can close my eyes and remember bringing my first born home from the hospital....and it's been 13 years ago....almost 14. (ok..this may be harder than I thought) in fact, bringing her home in that way too big car seat is much clearer in my memory than picking her up after volleyball practice yesterday. Anyway reminding myself 20 times a day that "time is not my friend", "time flies by and before I know it they are grown and gone" and "the days are long but the years are short," simply keeps me focused on and almost panicky about what I have done wrong. There are teachable moments I have missed, pictures I should have taken, times when I should have put the camera down and just embraced the moment. There are times when I know I sweated the small stuff, times when I didn't address the big stuff . Countless times when I was too tired to play with them or read to them. There are many days when I cleaned house instead of blowing bubbles or said the laundry had to be folded before I gave them the attention they wanted. My point here is that I'm imperfect and I can either choose to look back on these times as missed opprotunities that I'll never get back OR I can look at it in a different light. How about the giggle attacks that came out of nowhere and the harder we tried to get our composure the harder we laughed. What about Noah at three years of age reminding us to pray as a family before our dinner. Rocking babies all night long, fevers, lazy afternoons, spelling tests with 100% written on top. What about the jillions of dances the girls have made up and preformed for us....and how concerned Rob was about Noah's masculinity when he would join in and start singing Hannah Montana. Even Hannah knows that...Nobody's Perfect.....(sorry) I am going to make it a priority in my life learn from the areas where I have missed the target with my parenting. I AM going to play one more game of Candy Land, I will read to my 5th grader even though she's capable of reading to herself. I will play spa with the girls and do manis, pedis and the whole works even when I'm wiped out from a long day at work. I will come up with a cleaning/laundry schedule that makes the best use of my time but I will not get frusturated when something comes up and the schedule goes out the window. I will go on date nights with Rob and not talk about all that's wrong with the world. Instead, I will talk about all that is right with our lives and remind him that the best is yet to come.
I will embrace the journey....
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